Just spend what you can and want to spend. A gift card or a check would suffice. Or, find their registry and get what is within your budget. I never looked at my gifts and thought “Wow, I’m offended that they didn’t spend more on me.” I was just very thankful.

If I cannot attend, I usually send a gift card for a place they are registered at for half the amount I would normally give. I know people will not agree with that, but it’s a system that works for me.

Spend the same amount that you would have spent if you went. That’s what I would do. Pick something off their registry and send along a card saying how sorry you were to miss the wedding.

If you didn’t attend the wedding, it is appropriate to sent a small gift. The amount can depend on a few factors (1) your budget and how much you WANT to spend, (2) the amount they spent on a gift for your own wedding and/or other events, (3) the average cost per person of their wedding (i.e. if it’s a high-class event with rich friends you may want to spend more knowing that their expectations and similar spending on your own events in turn may be high), and (4) your closeness to the wedding party. For small, less expensive weddings that you didn’t attend, anything between $40-$75 seems appropriate. For bigger, more expensive wedding, anywhere between $50-$100 seems to work.