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Question about proper etiquette for expressing sympathy to the family of deceased.?
May 8, 2010 | In: Sympathy Gifts
Is sending flowers to the family appropriate? Gift baskets of food? Sympathy cards? I don’t live anywhere near them, so I can’t run over and put a wreath on the grave or give an Imam money to make prayers. What would be the polite and helpful thing to do? (The person who died is my daughter in law’s dad.
That sounds like a good idea. I am not a Muslim though – just an Agnostic Theist. I can browse through the Koran. Maybe something will jump out at me. I can write it into the cards I bought.
Hi Sue. He was a Muslim, and he did love to garden. I wonder if a tree could be planted in a local park in his honor.
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2 Responses to Question about proper etiquette for expressing sympathy to the family of deceased.?
Closer Than Veins {Saadia}
May 8th, 2010 at 3:30 am
I think more than sympathy to the family, they would prefer your prayers for the deceased.
Call one of the family members and speak to them, to ease their pain and send your salaam and dua’s. If you don’t want to call them then send them a card, maybe include a Quranic verse that will help them to understand and feel better about the death.
Edit:
Ease and hardship are the feathers that give strength to the wings of your faith, so that your heart and your innermost being can use them to fly to the door of your lord, Allah.
“Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah.
And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him.
And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him
And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.”
- Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya
Death is not the final end, but a gateway to a different kind of life
If Allah brought you to it, he will bring you through it.
Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and does good, they have their reward with their Lord.” Qur’an 2 ; 62
Their reward at their Lord is the gardens of Eden with flowing streams, wherein they abide forever. GOD is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. Such is the reward for those who reverence their Lord. [98:8]
Ruchjat K
May 8th, 2010 at 4:28 am
Salam.It depends on the economic condirton of the family of deceased.
In my country,most of us give money to the family of deceased,becau
se money is so flexible or foods and drinks to the poor or medium family of deceased..If the family of deceased is rich we are better to send flower as the sihn of condolence
If we visit the deceased usually we make a du’a near the dead,by firstly reciting Al Fatihah.We should make a supplication to Allah that the dead will be forgiven his/her mistakes,be accepted his/her good doings and be freed from grave’s punishment.We hope also to the family of deceased to be patient and tawaqal .in continuing their lives.